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| Hyakkumankai ikita neko - The cat who lived a million times
There was a cat who could live for a million years.
He died a million times, and lived a million times.
He was a great tiger-striped cat.
A million people adored the cat,
And a million people cried when that cat died.
The cat never cried, not even once.
Once, the cat was a king's cat.
The cat hated the king.
The king was great at war, and was always at war.
And, he put the cat in a magnificent cage,
And took him out to war.
One day, the cat was hit by a flying arrow, and died.
The king embraced the cat and wailed during the battle.
The king stopped the war and returned to his castle.
And, he buried the cat in the castle's garden.
Once, the cat was a sailor's cat.
The cat hated the seas.
The sailor took the cat to all the seas of the world,
And all the ports of the world.
One day, the cat fell off the boat.
The cat could not swim.
The sailor hurriedly scooped up the cat with his net,
But the cat was soaked and dead.
The sailor embraced the cat which was now like a wet rag,
And wailed in a loud voice.
And, he buried the cat under the tree
In a park in a far-away port.
Once, the cat was the cat of a magician in a circus.
The cat hated the circus.
The magician put the cat inside a box every day,
And cut him in half with a saw.
Then, he removed the cat, still in one piece,
Out of the box to receive his applause.
One day, the magician made a mistake,
And really cut the cat in half.
The magician wailed in a loud voice,
Holding the two parts of the cat in each hand.
Nobody applauded him.
The magician then buried the cat behind the circus tent.
Once, the cat was a burglar's cat.
The cat hated burglars.
The burglar walked quietly through the dark town with the cat,
Just like a cat.
The burglar robbed only houses with dogs.
While the dog was barking at the cat,
The burglar opened the safes.
One day, the cat was bitten to death by the dog.
The burglar embraced the cat with the diamonds he stole,
And walked through the night town wailing in a loud voice.
Then, he went home and buried the cat in a small yard.
Once, the cat was the cat of a lonely grandmother.
The cat hated grandmothers.
The grandmother looked outside every day from a small window,
Holding the cat in her arms.
The cat was asleep all day on top of the grandmother's lap.
Time passed, and the cat died of old age.
The frail grandmother embraced the frail dead cat,
And cried all day.
The grandmother buried the cat under a tree in the yard.
Once, the cat was a little girl's cat.
The cat hated children.
The girl piggy-backed the cat, and slept clutching the cat.
When she cried, she wiped her tears on the cat's back.
One day atop the girl's back,
The holster to keep the cat secure wound around his neck,
And the cat died.
Holding the cat with the dangly neck, the girl cried all day.
And, she buried the cat under a tree in the yard.
The cat had no fear of dying.
Once, the cat wasn't anyone's cat.
He was a stray cat.
The cat was able to be his own cat for the first time.
The cat loved himself.
Since he was a great tiger-striped cat,
He became a great stray cat.
All the female cats wanted to be the cat's wife.
There were cats that gave him huge fish.
Others gave him premium mice.
Some cats brought rare catnip as a gift.
Other cats licked his tiger fur for him.
The cat said to all of them...
"I've died a million times! This is so ridiculous now!"
The cat loved himself more than anyone else.
But there was just one beautiful white cat
That didn't even look at the cat.
The cat went over next to the white cat, and told her,
"I died a million times!"
The white cat just said, "Oh."
The cat became slightly upset, since he loved himself.
The next day, and the day after that,
The cat went over to the white cat and told her,
"You haven't even finished one life."
The white cat just said, "Oh."
One day, the cat did three somersaults in front of the white cat,
and said, "I once was a cat for a circus."
The white cat just said, "Oh."
The cat started to say, "I have had a million..."
Then asked the white cat, "Can I be at your side?"
The cat said, "Yes."
The cat stayed by the white cat for a long time.
The white cat had many cute kittens.
The cat no longer dared to say "I have had a million..."
The cat loved the white cat and all the many kittens
Even more than himself.
As time passed, the kittens grew up and all went away.
The cat, satisfied, said, "They became great stray cats now."
The white cat said, "Yes," and softly purred her throat.
The white cat had become a grandmother cat.
The cat purred his throat even more softly.
The cat thought that he wanted to live forever with the white cat.
One day, the white cat quietly stopped moving next to the cat.
The cat cried for the first time in his life.
Night came, morning came,
Night came again, and morning came again.
The cat cried a million times.
Morning came, night came...
and one afternoon, the cat stopped crying.
The cat, next to the white cat, quietly stopped moving.
The cat never came back to life again.
-An Old Japanese Folk Tale.
If it seems familiar its because of Cowboy Bebop
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| I had a three part dream series last night.
The first and last were boring if you werent there i suppose. The first had this nice guy in it, a bit British or aloof or both and we were in a play together rehearsing and he was charming in character but really studious out of character and sweet overall. That's it.
The last, I was walking through a hall like a college with dim lights, yellowish and cozy. And I passed this room, looked in, then went in. There was a long table - 15, 20 people all playing D&D. All guys with one exception. So I was going to just spy on the game cause I didnt have any character sheet but one of the guys there called me over, invited me to play and explained how to make a character to me and it turned out that everyone I'd every played with who made me a chara was wrong. It was really all so simple.
The second was interesting and Charlotte was in it I think. There was a room in a catacomb like environ, it was carved into the stone and above the archway where the words ____'s Home for the Blind. I can't recall her name but the woman was maybe fifties with dark blue-gray eyes and whitening hair. The crowd varied but most were around late teens to twenties with one exception. There was food there so we pretend to be blind - tried not to look too long at anything especially the tv and to not mention things like colors. It was tricky. Good food tho. After the meal there was a camp like holding of hands while standing in a circle. The words to the song were on the tv screen so I stole glances every so often but not enough to remain in time. Actually most people were like that. At the end the older woman dropped her hands and said dryly - get out. It seemed the entire room left - moochers the whole lot of them. As I went out the door I saw a boy playing on the floor with something he obviously couldnt see. I asked the woman (because my dream self figures things out quick it seems) if she knew the whole time that we were faking and she only nodded. I asked her if she could see us the whole time and she nodded once again.
and that was it.
i am so sure there's something deep and worldy in that last one.
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| How many N's does it take to change a lightbulb? have a go at guessing. answer in small text at bottom of the page.
do the wave!
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WOOO! One more time, altogether now!
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About 5.5. one to unscrew the old light bulb and the replacement bulb stolen from another lamp. one to read the manual to find out how to screw the lightbulb back in and one to realise there's nothing wrong with the lightbulb, the lamo just wasnt plugged in, then one to screw in the old lightbulb and one to realise that the lampshade needs to go on before the lightbulb goes on and that's the one that cries. One of those or maybe someone new came in during a moment of lucidity and put the lampshade on upside down, temporarily solving the problem fin.
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| I'm watching comedy central right and Bill Engvall is on talking about stupid people and his daughter. she took the SAT's, studied the night before and got a 1350 and the audience claps. And he's like 'yeah! I like to brag. But she's doing the stupidest thing, she's taking it again. Four digits and she's taking it again."
See what HM does to us? I'm like psh. I get a 1350 and I take a sky dive off the Empire State without a parachute man...
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| Two things:
a)
O! Horace Mann
O Alma Mater
Magna est veritas
And the truth is
Thou hast spoilt me rotten
With years of grammar
Prevailing over will
And upon X&Y
You and Me
Is ever
You and I.
b. OK. So did maybe like the first runner ever ever ever come back to proclaim a most glorious feeling to lazy comrades only to hear the callous reply: "Dude, you junkie you're high."?
Again.
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